User blog:Joeaikman/Joe's Battles of Fiction Season 2 Number 9 - Hannibal Lecter vs Sherlock Holmes
Hi and welcome to an exciting battle. This is a story battle so see if you can guess what tale I'm telling. Apologies if it's shìt :P Thank you to Noah for writing Lecter's verse. I hope you enjoy. The Cast EpicLLOYD as Hannibal Lecter (denoted by red) Nice Peter as Sherlock Holmes (denoted by this) Zach Sherwin as Norman Bates (denoted by this) George Watsky as Sherlock (denoted by this) EpicLLOYD as Michael Myers (denoted by this) Nice Peter as Announcer (denoted by White) Well hello, Holmes, shall we let this Game of Shadows begin? It doesn’t take a detective to know this is one case you won’t win, And, to be up front, your new show is stupid too, sorry for being blunt, So tell me, what does BBC stand for? Bastardized Bipolar Cunt? Buffalo Bill Could beat you, you’re just Watson’s Boring Booze-hound Cockblock, Can the Number 1 Big Bad Criminal take on this fool? No shit, Sherlock! Nowhere to Dolora-hyde, you think your parental issues know what true trauma brings? Then we won’t hear lots of screams when I eat your kidney with Fava Beans, Soon, your show will be forgotten, you’re just another band-wagon, son I flow like the river you died in, while your verses just keep Red Dragon on, You’re insecure mentally, surrounded by enemies who bring you constant treachery, But the truth it, you can’t beat Lecter- it’s really just elementary This is one lecture that Lecter won't want to be late for Coming live from Baker Street, Sherlock Holmes reborn I'm ahead of my time, I think you'll find I spit the best rhymes With that mask on your face a Batman villain springs to mind A serial killer who eats up people like they're breakfast I fought off Jack the Ripper now you'll be the one slashed The grillin' I'm givin' will send you straight to prison Holmes'll solve this case just like you're any other villain Now Hannibal the Cannibal who spits raps so laughable Will be beat by a rational, practical detective so unflappable Like the lambs remain silent, I'm no carbuncle I'm a diamond Rapping highlight and a giant, now I'll send you back to the asylum I eat up everything you said, just like they're my next victims organs I've got a friend to help me out, Bates get in here, HERES NORMAN The Beginning of your end starts here Sherlock, would you like a moment Kill this like my mother and her lover, using poisons meant for rodents I'm going Psycho against this character so overused I'll stuff you in my car, push it in a lake, you'll be fish food You're obscene, going green, left for dead like it's a shower scene Mother's keen for me to demean this crime solving machine I'm going to Duke it out against a rapper so Arbo-ghastly My burns will torch you like my house but I left this for last see Put a needle in your arm and you're rotting in the gutter I don't need you when a boys best friend is his mother The Case of the whiny mommas boy solved without an issue You're just a freak who can't love, I won't let you continue Every woman's a whore, it's why you're touching dem girls Dressing up like your mom, let your secret unfurl I don't need my doctor friend to send you losers packing Stay over at your motel, your raps will still be lacking Unravel your poorly woven rhymes like they're a House of Silk I've exposed these monstrosities, Lestrade arrest these filth I'm a legend, an icon of the true greatest nation You're just losers with the munchies or a mommy obsession When you step to Holmes, I deduce this will be easy Bates is barely scary, Lecter leaves his viewers queasy *Bates starts seemingly talking to himself* That's right...it's going to happen soon mother....the nasty man....he's going to die like the others....he's going to.....FALL *Holmes falls backward as if off a cliff but suddenly a newer version appears...the BBC version* You'd have to be Blind as a Banker to think you could step to me Why I'm simply the greatest mind ever to have graced TV A high functioning sociopath showing up two Dexter Morgan wannabes Wait...your genre is horror? Crap I thought it was comedy I fought off the Triads and outsmarted Moriarty I run this like a stag do, you aren't invited to the party Call this Five Nights at Freddy's and you're facing the final boss Be sure when this is finished you will be left completely Sherlocked *A rumbling sound runs between the rappers and Michael Myers pushes Lecter and Bates aside* One down and now Michael Myers will step to centre stage I spit the rhymes insane, and you'll lose this Great Game Defamed, handed blame, my movies have critical acclaim My clear aim is to maim a rapper who's rhymes are just tame You have arguments with your brother, I killed my whole family Dropping rhymes more intense than when I dropped from a balcony 20 years later and you won't stand a chance against the hench, dench Villian set to offend I'll hunt you down and leave you for dead, won this straight up, no need for Revenge This emcee does decree that I've heard scarier noises come from a banshee Quite frankly Myers should have been left out of this battle like it's Halloween 3 Now I realise I've wasted time facing 3 lame bad guys Off to jail you go, don't drop the soap, who won? Well.... YOU DECIDE!!!! Who won? Team Holmes Lecter, Bates and Myers Category:Blog posts